I’M COMING HOME

I just have to find my way!!!

Anxiety

Anxiety drives my every action when faced with a situation that is new to me. Anxiety has put a wall between me and God. Anxiety is my Achilles heel. My anxiety gets the best of me anytime I get out of my comfort zone.

Last year I was approached by the deacons at our church. They asked me to be a deacon over the greeting ministry. My anxiety kicked in. I immediately began to think of ways to graciously say no. Surely if this was God’s plan for me, He somehow forgot I was the worst person for this task.

It was decided, I told Kristin I was going to say no. Then Kristin had to go come up with one of those one-liners that she is so good at coming up with. “Remember, Jesus used imperfect people in His ministry.” Why did she have to go and say something like that? I had also been praying that God would make me the person He wanted me to be and not the person “I” wanted to be. I anxiously accepted.

That is when my journey began to overcome my feelings of anxiousness. Standing in the foyer of our church afraid someone would want to shake my (sweaty) hand, or engage in conversation I picked up a handful of bulletins to give people as they entered the door. A diversion from awkwardness I suppose.

I was hoping that I would have less anxiety by now. I see our preacher and others visiting with people they have never met like they were friends from long ago making those people feel welcome. I want that! I am certain that with Gods help I can achieve that. But when? I’m at that wall. Anxiety keeps showing up and right now it’s winning. Maybe by admitting defeat today, it will give me a fresh start tomorrow.

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June 30, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | 4 Comments

Discipline

“This is going to hurt me more than it’s going to hurt you!” Have you heard this statement before? I have, more than the average child I would imagine. It usually came right before bend over put your hands on your knees and if you move I’ll give you more. I use to think, well we can fix that, give me the belt and I’ll spank you and you won’t have to suffer all that hurt. I could never muster up the audacity to say it, only think it.

Abby is getting to the age she is testing and learning right from wrong. I hate to say it, but I think she is  going to follow in my footsteps. I can already see the strong will coming out in her. I am starting to understand the statement “this is going to hurt me more than it’s going to hurt you.” It pains me to see the tears slide down Abby’s face. I know she is thinking, why is he so being so mean to me?

In just a matter of minutes, she is in my arms with her head on my shoulder. Somehow she is quick to forgive the pain I just caused her. She finds comfort in my arms, the arms of the daddy that just disciplined her. Who is learning the lesson here? I feel the pain longer than she does. This discipline, It’s necessary! But I don’t like it.

June 26, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Mexico

Well, the anticipation of our trip to Mexico has turned into disappointment and disbelief. I don’t know all the details yet but do to danger in and around La Pesca the church has cancelled the mission trip. Please pray for the people in that area.

June 26, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Sincere

Too often I hear people asking about the sincerity of faith in others. Are they just putting on their Sunday smile and acting as if they have a great relationship with God? Do they really believe what they say they believe? This is not a post to put shame on “those” people. Rather to plead with you to realize a heart that is trying to be sincere is a heart that will eventually be sincere. They are reaching for something that they don’t fully understand. I know I am saying “they”, but I could include myself in this. Sometimes “I” don’t feel real. I believe the journey to feel real will weed out the lack of sincerity eventually.

Growing up I believed what I believed because that is what I was told. I had faith in what my parents told me, faith in what my youth minister told me and etc. At some point I started questioning why I believed what I believed. Realizing my faith was based on someone elses beliefs, my journey to be “sincere” began. I hope the journey will continue the rest of my life.

I hope and pray your journey to be sincere will be blessed and free from judgement.

Sincerely, Brady

 

June 23, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

OOPS

I just had to share my morning experience with you. I am working in North Little Rock today so I didn’t have my coffee maker at work to make my daily coffee. So I stopped in at McDonalds to get my lip burning cup of coffee. I keep loose change in a compartment in my car and usually forget about it when I need it but this morning I remembered. I payed the woman at the window and began to drive off. She started yelling out the window, “you can’t pay with a button”! I backed up and sure enough, I had given her a brown button thinking it was a penny. We both got a laugh out of it. I can see the headlines in the newspaper tomorrow, “MAN USES BUTTON IN AN  ATTEMPT TO CON MCDONALDS OUT OF A PENNY”.

June 19, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Materialism

I will be leaving for La Pesca Mexico next month joining the Muskogee Church of Christ in the mission field. I am very excited! I have to tell you, I feel a little selfish. I have been to La Pesca before and received more than I gave. Sure, we were able to put roofs on huts and work on the church and minister to those that would let us. What they did for me several years ago has me anticipating the return. I can’t wait to experience it again. Experience the overwhelming joy these people have. Thatch roofs, rat infested, snake dwelling hut’s, limited fresh water, no money, no cars. All they have is each other. And they are so happy. I wish they would schedule a mission trip here. Teach us how to live. Teach us how to be happy when “all” we have is each other. Don’t get me wrong. I love having sheet rock walls, shingled roof, and a car to get around in. I guess when we have so much we lose the appreciation for what we do have because we expect it. Dare I say we are spoiled? Do we create choas in our lives with our materialism? I think so. How many families are in hurt right now because of rising gas prices? I bet I won’t even hear talk of rising gas prices in La Pesca. No cars to need gas.

We are rich by worldly standards. It scares me to read Matthew 19:23, “I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven”. Jesus prompted the rich young man to sell all his possessions and give to the poor to find perfection. While we are not expected to be perfect, we are expected to try and be perfect. Mathew 19:26, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

June 14, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Life Changing

Kristin was on the couch watching tv and I was playing on the computer. There was loud shouting going on outside and and I wanted to see what was going on. When I realized it was a man and a woman fighting, I looked out the peep hole in the front door of our apartment. What I saw angered me, a man was beating a woman with his fist. My initial thought was to go out and beat the tar out of this man. Something told me not to. She was trying to get into our apartment but the door was locked. We went to call the police and as soon as I stepped around the corner to get the phone I heard the woman say her last words, “no baby no” and three gun shots went off. The bullets went through the door were I was standing just moments earlier. One next to the peep hole I was just looking out of. One was knee high, and one at the bottom of the door. Kristin and I hit the floor and I told her to crawl to the bathroom and get in the tub, I crawled into our bedroom and got my gun just incase he made his way into our apartment. I stayed on the floor in the bathroom with Kristin and held the gun in position to shoot if I needed to. After a few minutes, the cops arrived and began shooting at the man that had shot his ex-girlfriend at our front door step. Bullets were flying through our apartment. As I lay in the floor, something fell from the ceiling and landed next to me. I reached out and grabbed it. It was a bullet that had hit the airconditioning unit in our hallway and fell. As the bullets entered the apartment I watched the back sliding glass door shatter. Then there was silence, Kristin was crying and our dog Grace had pooped from one end of the apt. to the other. We sat there waiting not knowing what to do. After a while the paramedics showed up I heard them talking with the police so I figured it was safe. I went to the door to let them know we were in there and there she was, laying there lifeless, laying in a massive amount of blood. My heart sank. I felt like I was in a movie. I felt bad because I didn’t try and help her. I know I wouldn’t be here now if I had. Kristin and I talk about it every know and then. We both think about that girl. We think about how lucky we are to be alive. We left that night and Kristin made the statement, “God has us here for something and wanted us to live.” To be honest, I don’t know how we didn’t die. When we went back to get our things we counted 17 bullet holes just in our apartment. From that moment on we have looked at life a little differently. We stopped living for us and living for Him. He motivated us! This happened in 2004 while we were looking for a house to buy. We were living in an apartment in Little Rock. Shortly after all of this I read the book Purpose Driven Life. God was speaking to me loud and clear. I pray you don’t need that kind of motivation! Oh ya, they didn’t even kill the man with 17 shots. Only one hit him in the leg.

June 11, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Abby

Kristin took Abby to the doctor this morning. I am going to brag a little bit. I always heard people talk about percentages and really thought it was funny when people would brag about what percentage their child was. I understand now. I am a proud daddy. Abby is almost 32″ tall and 22.5 lbs at 16 months. She is in the 90th percentile for height and 50th for weight. Kristin teaches Abby sign language and the doctor was impressed with Abby’s signing skills. The doctor was also impressed that Abby is saying 10 words as most children her age are around 5. She got Kristins brains and height. She is going to be a great golfer by the way!

June 9, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Poppy

I really miss him. The greatest man I ever knew. His wisdom is still talked about today. He always new what to say. He could make you feel special in a matter of moments even when you felt as if the whole world didn’t think so. Selfless, wise, good husband, good father, good grandpa, servant of the Lord is some of the things I use to describe him. He loved me like his own and I loved him just the same. He would sit and listen when I had troubles. Never judging. Just listening. I would go on and on and when I would finish he new exactly what to say. Was it his old age that made him so wise? Was it his years of experience? I think it was because he genuinely cared. He listened because he loved. I miss his counsel. I imagine he would tell me to look at Gods word to find my counsel now. I miss him

June 8, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

I’ll Get Em

At about 1:30 this morning, Kristin and I woke up to a very loud bang inside our house. I was really impressed with my quickness to reach for my pistol and have it ready for battle. Why does this make you feel so manly? As I peeked through the doorway of our bedroom, I spun around like a member of NCIS. Thoughts were running through my mind like, “should I shoot em in the head or the leg? If I shoot em in th leg they may be able to get a shot off at me. I better shoot for the head.” I know, it’s horrible but I would do anything to protect my family. I searched the house and found nothing. I went outside and didn’t see anything either. What the heck was it? I mean it was loud, like someone barreling through the door. Heading back to our bedroom I was thinking about all the places someone could be hiding. Ah ha, I didn’t check the entry closet. I pulled my gun up ready to fire and swung the door open real fast. It jumped out of the closet at me, I almost pulled the trigger. I realized Kristin had hung a long coat on the hook on the back of the door. When I swung it open it swung out toward me and we almost had a nice coat with gun shots in it. Ok, so after the coat thing happened I didn’t feel so manly. What the heck was it? We are still clueless to what it might have been. I am interested in your opinion or guess to what can make loud banging sounds inside a house. Please comment with your ideas!

June 6, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | 2 Comments