I’M COMING HOME

I just have to find my way!!!

PRIDE

Yesterday was an eye opening experience for me. For those of you that don’t know, I work for Americas Mattress in Bryant and have the job title “manager” even though there is very little to manage. “Salesman” is more fitting for what I do.

After opening up the store I received a call from the owner letting me know the delivery helper had called in sick at the last minute. He asked if I could help with the deliveries for the day and he would send someone down to replace me. I had filled in before and really enjoy the change of scenery so I was more than happy to help.

As we made our way through the list of customers I began to take notice of how differently people treated me. I was a “delivery man”. Conversation was different. I was getting frustrated because people were not treating me with respect. As their noses tilted upward, I found myself thinking of ways I could let them know, I am not really a delivery man, I am a manager! WOW I know!!! It’s true though. I told one customer the story, how the delivery helper was sick and I came to the rescue so they would still get their bed on time. I promise I am stooping down in my chair as I write this in disbelief at my actions.

I am back in my comfort zone behind my desk today. There are not many people out looking for a mattress today so I am left alone with my thoughts. What was I thinking? How could I let these people get to me? Hum…..Pride?

I turn to my bible for guidance and what scripture is highlighted in bright orange? 1 Peter 5:6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under Gods mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. What? That “He” may lift me up. Not that “I” may lift myself up. So what is to be learned from this?

My pride needs work!!! This is somewhat an attempt to let go of some of that pride in confessing this to you. As I have said before, I ask God to show me the areas of my life that need work? As long as I remain open to hearing Him, I am confident He will continue to show me those areas.

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July 8, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Old Man at Heart!

This morning my alarm clock sounded at 6:00. I reached over and began my morning routine by hitting the snooze button every five minutes until 6:30. Then, I sluggishly made my way to the bathroom to take a shower, shave, brush my teeth and work on my golf swing in front of the mirror.

As I looked up to see if my arm was straight enough in my back swing I saw a strange man looking back at me. Who is this fellow with a thinning and an almost noticeable receding hair line? It has been way to long since I have taken the time to stop and take notice of the aging process that has been taking place. I am starting to have characteristics of an old man! I’m only 28. How can that be?

A couple of months ago, I went down to the local hardware store and picked up a bird feeder and a thermometer to hang on the fence outside one of our windows. I enjoy watching birds and I like to know what the temperature is without having to watch the news. Kristin laughed at me and said that is something an old man would do.  Maybe so?

July 5, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Flies

I had a laugh this evening. When I got home for work I sat down at the dinner table to eat. The window to the back yard was behind me and we all know how much flies love windows, especially close to the dinner table. They don’t much bother me but I would agree that they are more than a little unsanitary. Kristin grabbed her weapon of choice, yes there is a choice at our house. We have towels, shirts, and even a fly swatter. She grabbed the fly swatter and made her way behind me. My only request was she didn’t knock them into my food. It sounded like war. At one point I was concerned she might break the window. After a little while  of swatting Kristin said, “One”. She was so proud to get one but I was sure she had killed at least 7 or 8 with all that swatting.

July 2, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Anxiety

Anxiety drives my every action when faced with a situation that is new to me. Anxiety has put a wall between me and God. Anxiety is my Achilles heel. My anxiety gets the best of me anytime I get out of my comfort zone.

Last year I was approached by the deacons at our church. They asked me to be a deacon over the greeting ministry. My anxiety kicked in. I immediately began to think of ways to graciously say no. Surely if this was God’s plan for me, He somehow forgot I was the worst person for this task.

It was decided, I told Kristin I was going to say no. Then Kristin had to go come up with one of those one-liners that she is so good at coming up with. “Remember, Jesus used imperfect people in His ministry.” Why did she have to go and say something like that? I had also been praying that God would make me the person He wanted me to be and not the person “I” wanted to be. I anxiously accepted.

That is when my journey began to overcome my feelings of anxiousness. Standing in the foyer of our church afraid someone would want to shake my (sweaty) hand, or engage in conversation I picked up a handful of bulletins to give people as they entered the door. A diversion from awkwardness I suppose.

I was hoping that I would have less anxiety by now. I see our preacher and others visiting with people they have never met like they were friends from long ago making those people feel welcome. I want that! I am certain that with Gods help I can achieve that. But when? I’m at that wall. Anxiety keeps showing up and right now it’s winning. Maybe by admitting defeat today, it will give me a fresh start tomorrow.

June 30, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | 4 Comments

Discipline

“This is going to hurt me more than it’s going to hurt you!” Have you heard this statement before? I have, more than the average child I would imagine. It usually came right before bend over put your hands on your knees and if you move I’ll give you more. I use to think, well we can fix that, give me the belt and I’ll spank you and you won’t have to suffer all that hurt. I could never muster up the audacity to say it, only think it.

Abby is getting to the age she is testing and learning right from wrong. I hate to say it, but I think she is  going to follow in my footsteps. I can already see the strong will coming out in her. I am starting to understand the statement “this is going to hurt me more than it’s going to hurt you.” It pains me to see the tears slide down Abby’s face. I know she is thinking, why is he so being so mean to me?

In just a matter of minutes, she is in my arms with her head on my shoulder. Somehow she is quick to forgive the pain I just caused her. She finds comfort in my arms, the arms of the daddy that just disciplined her. Who is learning the lesson here? I feel the pain longer than she does. This discipline, It’s necessary! But I don’t like it.

June 26, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Mexico

Well, the anticipation of our trip to Mexico has turned into disappointment and disbelief. I don’t know all the details yet but do to danger in and around La Pesca the church has cancelled the mission trip. Please pray for the people in that area.

June 26, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Sincere

Too often I hear people asking about the sincerity of faith in others. Are they just putting on their Sunday smile and acting as if they have a great relationship with God? Do they really believe what they say they believe? This is not a post to put shame on “those” people. Rather to plead with you to realize a heart that is trying to be sincere is a heart that will eventually be sincere. They are reaching for something that they don’t fully understand. I know I am saying “they”, but I could include myself in this. Sometimes “I” don’t feel real. I believe the journey to feel real will weed out the lack of sincerity eventually.

Growing up I believed what I believed because that is what I was told. I had faith in what my parents told me, faith in what my youth minister told me and etc. At some point I started questioning why I believed what I believed. Realizing my faith was based on someone elses beliefs, my journey to be “sincere” began. I hope the journey will continue the rest of my life.

I hope and pray your journey to be sincere will be blessed and free from judgement.

Sincerely, Brady

 

June 23, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

OOPS

I just had to share my morning experience with you. I am working in North Little Rock today so I didn’t have my coffee maker at work to make my daily coffee. So I stopped in at McDonalds to get my lip burning cup of coffee. I keep loose change in a compartment in my car and usually forget about it when I need it but this morning I remembered. I payed the woman at the window and began to drive off. She started yelling out the window, “you can’t pay with a button”! I backed up and sure enough, I had given her a brown button thinking it was a penny. We both got a laugh out of it. I can see the headlines in the newspaper tomorrow, “MAN USES BUTTON IN AN  ATTEMPT TO CON MCDONALDS OUT OF A PENNY”.

June 19, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Materialism

I will be leaving for La Pesca Mexico next month joining the Muskogee Church of Christ in the mission field. I am very excited! I have to tell you, I feel a little selfish. I have been to La Pesca before and received more than I gave. Sure, we were able to put roofs on huts and work on the church and minister to those that would let us. What they did for me several years ago has me anticipating the return. I can’t wait to experience it again. Experience the overwhelming joy these people have. Thatch roofs, rat infested, snake dwelling hut’s, limited fresh water, no money, no cars. All they have is each other. And they are so happy. I wish they would schedule a mission trip here. Teach us how to live. Teach us how to be happy when “all” we have is each other. Don’t get me wrong. I love having sheet rock walls, shingled roof, and a car to get around in. I guess when we have so much we lose the appreciation for what we do have because we expect it. Dare I say we are spoiled? Do we create choas in our lives with our materialism? I think so. How many families are in hurt right now because of rising gas prices? I bet I won’t even hear talk of rising gas prices in La Pesca. No cars to need gas.

We are rich by worldly standards. It scares me to read Matthew 19:23, “I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven”. Jesus prompted the rich young man to sell all his possessions and give to the poor to find perfection. While we are not expected to be perfect, we are expected to try and be perfect. Mathew 19:26, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

June 14, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Life Changing

Kristin was on the couch watching tv and I was playing on the computer. There was loud shouting going on outside and and I wanted to see what was going on. When I realized it was a man and a woman fighting, I looked out the peep hole in the front door of our apartment. What I saw angered me, a man was beating a woman with his fist. My initial thought was to go out and beat the tar out of this man. Something told me not to. She was trying to get into our apartment but the door was locked. We went to call the police and as soon as I stepped around the corner to get the phone I heard the woman say her last words, “no baby no” and three gun shots went off. The bullets went through the door were I was standing just moments earlier. One next to the peep hole I was just looking out of. One was knee high, and one at the bottom of the door. Kristin and I hit the floor and I told her to crawl to the bathroom and get in the tub, I crawled into our bedroom and got my gun just incase he made his way into our apartment. I stayed on the floor in the bathroom with Kristin and held the gun in position to shoot if I needed to. After a few minutes, the cops arrived and began shooting at the man that had shot his ex-girlfriend at our front door step. Bullets were flying through our apartment. As I lay in the floor, something fell from the ceiling and landed next to me. I reached out and grabbed it. It was a bullet that had hit the airconditioning unit in our hallway and fell. As the bullets entered the apartment I watched the back sliding glass door shatter. Then there was silence, Kristin was crying and our dog Grace had pooped from one end of the apt. to the other. We sat there waiting not knowing what to do. After a while the paramedics showed up I heard them talking with the police so I figured it was safe. I went to the door to let them know we were in there and there she was, laying there lifeless, laying in a massive amount of blood. My heart sank. I felt like I was in a movie. I felt bad because I didn’t try and help her. I know I wouldn’t be here now if I had. Kristin and I talk about it every know and then. We both think about that girl. We think about how lucky we are to be alive. We left that night and Kristin made the statement, “God has us here for something and wanted us to live.” To be honest, I don’t know how we didn’t die. When we went back to get our things we counted 17 bullet holes just in our apartment. From that moment on we have looked at life a little differently. We stopped living for us and living for Him. He motivated us! This happened in 2004 while we were looking for a house to buy. We were living in an apartment in Little Rock. Shortly after all of this I read the book Purpose Driven Life. God was speaking to me loud and clear. I pray you don’t need that kind of motivation! Oh ya, they didn’t even kill the man with 17 shots. Only one hit him in the leg.

June 11, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | 1 Comment